Aries

The actions of other people will be unpredictable today. Your possessions may be driving you crazy in some weird way, so see if you can just clear your house — or garage, or closet or even just that one junk drawer. Spending the day relaxing seems like a good idea, but your irrepressible restlessness makes this unlikely today. You bore quickly and your overactive thoughts can fuel an attraction to an emotionally charged situation or an intense debate. Be careful about creating unnecessary noise just because you want a bit of excitement or an excuse to escape. It’s better to remain quiet now and contemplate the results of speaking your truth before saying something you cannot take back. Today your twisted Horoscope tells us you should start to plan to make love on a forest floor

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Taurus

Money-wise, you are on somewhat solid footing now, but you still need to save more. You’re a one-person show today! Your great energy helps you to entertain your friends or anyone else who happens along. You might be in emotional distress today, finding it difficult to ask for what you want. Your thoughts seem to be buzzing around in never-ending circles as they continue to grow more intense. Controlling your impulses is your smartest strategy to keep things from unraveling now. Thankfully, there’s no need to be overly concerned because your mood will likely shift midday, enabling you to settle down and accomplish your goals. Today your twisted Horoscope tells us you should start to plan to own one very expensive but absolutely wonderful business suit

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Gemini

Obstacles can be fun, once in a while — so don’t be afraid of climbing over them! Your work needs attention, so make sure that you’re on top of it. You are in your own element today with the Sun and the Moon flying through your airy sign. Although you might feel a bit of emotional pressure from a family member or close friend, it’s not necessary to jump through a lot of hoops now trying to live up to anyone’s expectations. Instead, imagine you are a kite, riding on the changeable breezes. Don’t try too hard to resist the currents; fortunately, the winds will ultimately carry you along effortlessly to your destination. Today your twisted Horoscope tells us you should start to plan to be someone’s mentor

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Cancer

More and more people are starting to enjoy your take on the world. Share it more. How’s your family life? You need to check in with someone who’s not as talkative as they usually are, which may be tricky. Just be honest and let them know you care — that works wonders on a day like today. Although you may want to be alone for a while, your day depends on how well you can get along with others. You might wish that you could escape into fantasies, but the real challenge today is to balance your dreams with what you must do in the real world. Once you accept the necessity of social interactions, you should be able to find the security you seek from within. Today your twisted Horoscope tells us you should start to plan to attend one really huge rock concert

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Leo

It’s time to get social! Accept any and all invitations you get without hesitation. You feel like a rock star or a millionaire — though others may not treat you like one. Friends are one thing, but it seems that strangers just can’t seem to get the same sense of glamor from you. Being optimistic is a blessing, but you can float off into dreamland today with no obvious way to come back down to earth. The danger is that a balloon filled with too much hot air can explode. You could set yourself up for disappointment if your expectations are overinflated. Thankfully, talking with your friends and associates can help you balance your perspective as long as you’re willing to listen. Today your twisted Horoscope tells us you should start to plan to plant a tree

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Virgo

Your upcoming travel plans will amuse you, shock you, and, best of all, educate you! Your philosophical rambling is getting somewhere good today — so keep it up! You may achieve an epiphany this evening as it all comes to a head. Worrying about doing the right thing at work turns up the stress level. Although concentration comes naturally to you, one emotional issue after another today distracts you from what needs to be done. Everything seems more urgent now, so try to maintain a sensible perspective. Cut back on unnecessary activities and say only what’s necessary. It’s wise to conserve your energy for later in the week when you will need it most. Today your twisted Horoscope tells us you should start to plan to go to Walden Pond and read Thoreau while drifting in a canoe

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Libra

You will feel a magnetic pull towards a person who you’ve never met before, today. Your emotional state is strong, but you may also find yourself speaking up (or tearing up) more than usual. The mood-setting Moon lightens everything up for you while it’s in whimsical Gemini, which, like Libra, is a thoughtful Air sign. Although you’re eager to listen and learn, you might believe that you should also share everything you know. However, full disclosure isn’t necessarily the best option today. Discretion is advised now, for there are some things better left unsaid. Today your twisted Horoscope tells us you should start to plan to drive a convertible with the top down and music blaring

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Scorpio

There’s no sense in hurrying to get things done, now. Someone has laid a little trap for you — but you may want to pretend to stumble into it unawares. You may be somewhat unsure of the very same people on whom you normally rely. It feels as if you’re the only person these days who takes enough time to think everything through to its conclusion. You really aren’t that difficult to please; it’s just that you wish others would try a bit harder. Push gently as you interact with friends and associates because alienating them will not necessarily produce better results or make you feel any happier. Work with what you have instead of what you want. Today your twisted Horoscope tells us you should start to plan to learn to rollerblade

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Sagittarius

Stay on top of the details — don’t take anything for granted. Your colleagues are all up in arms over some small change in the rules or something the competition is trying to get away with — but you can’t be bothered. Today’s flighty Gemini Moon fans your inspirational Sagittarian fires. Your enthusiasm is growing, but problems might arise stemming from an information overload. Stop adding more data to the mix once you reach your saturation point. Make your decisions now with what you already know and trust that your choices will be the best ones. Today your twisted Horoscope tells us you should start to plan to visit the Senate and the House of Representatives to see how Congress really works

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Capricorn

Even if you don’t have a sweetheart right now, today is going to be full of romance. Your ability to pinch pennies is legendary, and today you come up with a killer idea to keep your bank account in the black. You are nearing a turning point and can finally move beyond the previous limitations if you’re willing to take a risk today. Thankfully, you can escape the consequences of the same rules that you normally respect. It’s not that you’re particularly rebellious now; it’s just you can no longer blindly follow policies and procedures that don’t make sense. Walk on the wild side, but remember your way back home. Today your twisted Horoscope tells us you should start to plan to be able to handle: your tax forms, Jehovah’s Witnesses, your banker, telephone solicitors

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Aquarius

Are you getting bored? The best cure for an uninteresting life is to take risks! Changes are coming down, and you have got to make sure that you’re keeping up with them. Usually that’s no problem, but your mental state is a little scattered today. Discipline can help! You are eager to glide through even the most difficult of circumstances today since the smart Gemini Moon comfortably supports your logical and analytical bias. Even if you have a lot to do now, you’re able to think on your feet quickly enough to manage nearly anything that surfaces, allowing you to also squeeze in some time for fun. Give yourself the benefit of any doubt. If something enjoyable comes along, grab the opportunity to pursue the good time you deserve. Today your twisted Horoscope tells us you should start to plan to send a message in a bottle

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Pisces

Communicate in an out-of-the-ordinary manner — write a poem to say how you feel. Your romantic side is piqued by someone new — or maybe you see your sweetheart in a brand new way. It’s a multiple choice kind of day because the dualistic Gemini Moon reveals a variety of paths that all seem to lead back home. Ultimately, you would like to balance your current curiosity with a desire to maintain the status quo; however, these two needs can lead you in very different directions. Actively explore your options and follow your impulses. Once you have exhausted the alternatives, it will be much easier to settle on a final course. Today your twisted Horoscope tells us you should start to plan to look into your child’s eyes, see yourself, and smile

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